Is “New Year New Me” really bad to say?

 I feel as if the universe has provided certain patterns that happen at around the same time every year. It’s almost like watching a rerun or a movie you’ve seen before and you already know what is about to happen next. I’ll tell you where I’m going with this. Every year before the start of a new year, I see a plethora of memes and jokes basically mocking people that go around proclaiming “New Year, New Me.” In a nutshell, I guess you could say it’s “shaming” those for having the audacity to want to regroup or engage in a change for themselves for the new year.

What is baffling about these statements is that a counter argument could be made that the people making fun of others for starting a new process for themselves (or the intention to) are merely projecting their own doubts and insecurities onto others, whether they admit it or not. Here’s the thing, the world is beautiful because no one person is the same. Yes, we have similar qualities or characteristics but your literal DNA sequence that makes you YOU, are unique to yourself. With that being said, who are you or anyone to downplay someone else’s New Year’s resolution?

In my earlier posts from last year, I mentioned how social media barely gives us a fraction of who we really are. In essence, most people show what others want them to see. More often than that, we aren’t seeing someone’s daily routine or hearing about their innermost thoughts. Influencers still don’t count because they are giving you an artificial view into their “daily lives.” No one is recording themselves taking a shit or digging in their nose (unless you’re Cardi B and someone of her caliber, presence and clout does not account for the general population. Her brand is shock value. Enough said). Someone may make a long post on Facebook about an accomplishment or another life event but you still don’t know them. Let me reiterate that: You do not know them. Obviously if you have a personal close relationship with that person, you will get a different perspective from them. However, I’m not talking about close or best friends, (this can still be debated about but I’ll get into that later) I am talking about casual friends you see on social media or maybe someone you went to high school with.

Someone’s “new year new me” may be the starting of a new hobby or acquiring a new budget. But just because you visually can’t see what it is that makes them “new,” the automatic response is to shame and mock them for not ever changing. On the other end, a lot of humans are face valued type of people. It’s not until you evolve into having a mindset with really understanding the age old saying of “there’s more than meets the eye.” I’ll touch on what I said above about being close or best friends with this person who is saying they are ready for a “new” them. I have a small story regarding this subject.

I was cool with a girl in college. We started off as casual friends and grew to be very close. By face value she was a very happy and well put together woman. In fact, I admired that about her sought to have that level of assurance about myself. During my late teens and early 20’s, I had extreme self-esteem issues and this young lady gave me motivation when it came to overcome that. I remember one night when we were out having a drink and she had opened up to me about a vulnerable fact about herself. She let me know that she was born with a speech impediment and for years she struggled to speak complete sentences. She was also bullied badly in middle school to the point where she begged her mother to homeschool her because it was very hard for her to face that every day.

Instead, she overcame that challenge and made sure she got the tools she needed in order to become a better speaker.

When she told me this, I was very shocked. Speech impediment where? Her major was political science and I watched her speak proudly and confidently in front of crowds. Open mics were also her forte. I considered myself close to this girl and we had hung out on many occasions, however I was not aware of this particular challenge. My point is that we can’t ever assume we know everything about a person. Just because it doesn’t “look” like they are changing or have made big changes to you, doesn’t mean that they haven’t had a personal accomplishment. In all honestly, there’s also nothing that needs to be proved to you either. If your personal goal this year is to try new food, then great! You want to open up a business? Amazing. Big or small, it’s beautiful to have goals. You want to know a secret? We’re always changing every year. Whether or not you notice it, you become a different person. January 2020, you have a new way of seeing things than in January 2019. You may have a new interest or idea. We’re often too hard on ourselves and it’s time to appreciate each accomplishment we make no matter how big or small. Happy new year to the new you

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